Wednesday is my six week check-up. As it gets closer, I'm finding myself getting more nervous. I feel great physically, some days not so much emotionally, but that is to be expected. A few weeks after Connor was born I received a letter from the Pediatric Pathologist at the IWK, he wrote me personally to say he was sorry for the loss of our infant son and to let me know that the preliminary autopsy results were sent to my Doctor and she would be able to explain any findings found at my next appointment. Lately, it's all I can think about. I have started to get used to the fact that Mark and I will most likely never find out what happened to Connor. The doctors say that this is the best case scenario because it gives us our best chance for the next time we get pregnant, but i every day leading up to my appointment I find myself worrying more and more that something is going to come back. Constantly all these things rush into my mind, what if something bad ends up coming back, I don't know that I could possibly handle anymore bad news. What if they find out it was actually something that is going to prevent Mark and I from having kids in the future. Deep down I'm confident that everything will be fine, but it's human nature to worry. Mark and my whole family are very reassuring and are always there to listen when I'm having a bad day, it's such a great feeling to have such fantastic family and such a strong man in my life. It's amazing that even though everyone around me is greiving, they can still manage I could never Thank my family enough for constantly setting aside my apprehension on a day to day basis. They are all so incredible and so strong. I am so proud of my family and the way they have came together for Mark and I. They make everyday a little bit easier, so to all those family members who I know are reading this, Thank you and I love you to the moon and back!
RSS Feed