I never stop researching stillbirths. I will never stop looking for more ways to share our story. These things help me to keep Connors spirit alive. While I was looking around on the internet today I found a site called "Faces of loss/Faces of hope" which also directed me to iamtheface.org. These sites offer an outrageous amount of support from thousand of women that have suffered the same pain that Mark and I have and have survived. We are survivors. We have faced pain and heartache that is incomparable to anything we have ever felt before but we get up everyday and live our life to the fullest.
These sites along with the women who share their stories help to make stillbirth and other loss not so taboo. It is so nice to share our story with people who actually understand how we feel and can relate. When you lose a loved one it is so hard, but losing a child is different. When someone older has passed away you can manage to feel a sense of happiness because even though they are gone, you know they lived "x" amount of good years on this earth and have had a chance to do the things they love. (Don't get me wrong, losing anyone is hard, child, parent or friend. It is all equally painful and heartbreaking). Losing a child is something no one can ever relate to unless you have experienced it. It is a time in your life where you experience many different emotions all at once. You feel sad and heartbroken because you are losing your child and that child will never get the chance to experience life for themselves but at the same time you feel happy. Happy because you are holding your child, which no matter the circumstance is the most amazing feeling any person will ever feel. You feel mad and confused because you can't manage to comprehend why this is happening to you, why you got dealt the bad hand in that chapter in your life. You feel guilty because you are the one that carried your baby as long as you could and yet your baby still could not get here safely. I used to think this is just how I felt, but now that I have read many different blogs from women who are just like me I know its perfectly normal to feel this way. I just keep reminding myself there is no right or wrong way to grieve. If grieving came with a pamphlet life would be much easier.
I am so happy to have learned what I have through all of the heartbreak. I have learned what my mind, body and heart can handle and it's a lot more then I ever could have imagined. I am amazed at what my body can do. I carried a child in my body for nine months, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. It's so crazy to get up every morning and look at myself in the mirror and remember what I have been through. I constantly remind myself that I can do anything I put my mind to now. Nothing in life is ever out of reach, all you have to do is believe that you can do it. I never thought I would get through losing our first child, but I have and I have managed to find the bright and the positive side in everything that has happened.
To all the women who have helped me cope by sharing your stories, Thank You. You have no idea how much your stories have helped me realize that Mark and I are not alone. Even though sometimes it may feel like it, we are not the only ones who have had to deal with losing a child.
These sites along with the women who share their stories help to make stillbirth and other loss not so taboo. It is so nice to share our story with people who actually understand how we feel and can relate. When you lose a loved one it is so hard, but losing a child is different. When someone older has passed away you can manage to feel a sense of happiness because even though they are gone, you know they lived "x" amount of good years on this earth and have had a chance to do the things they love. (Don't get me wrong, losing anyone is hard, child, parent or friend. It is all equally painful and heartbreaking). Losing a child is something no one can ever relate to unless you have experienced it. It is a time in your life where you experience many different emotions all at once. You feel sad and heartbroken because you are losing your child and that child will never get the chance to experience life for themselves but at the same time you feel happy. Happy because you are holding your child, which no matter the circumstance is the most amazing feeling any person will ever feel. You feel mad and confused because you can't manage to comprehend why this is happening to you, why you got dealt the bad hand in that chapter in your life. You feel guilty because you are the one that carried your baby as long as you could and yet your baby still could not get here safely. I used to think this is just how I felt, but now that I have read many different blogs from women who are just like me I know its perfectly normal to feel this way. I just keep reminding myself there is no right or wrong way to grieve. If grieving came with a pamphlet life would be much easier.
I am so happy to have learned what I have through all of the heartbreak. I have learned what my mind, body and heart can handle and it's a lot more then I ever could have imagined. I am amazed at what my body can do. I carried a child in my body for nine months, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. It's so crazy to get up every morning and look at myself in the mirror and remember what I have been through. I constantly remind myself that I can do anything I put my mind to now. Nothing in life is ever out of reach, all you have to do is believe that you can do it. I never thought I would get through losing our first child, but I have and I have managed to find the bright and the positive side in everything that has happened.
To all the women who have helped me cope by sharing your stories, Thank You. You have no idea how much your stories have helped me realize that Mark and I are not alone. Even though sometimes it may feel like it, we are not the only ones who have had to deal with losing a child.
RSS Feed